These are all my emotions, twisted and minipulated into words,
if you like them,  thank you.....but please do not copy them!


It was summer
Things happened so fast in my eyes
So quickly, I missed the entire lilac season.
The flowers remain dried on the trees 
And still there is something in the air.
I wanted to forget the summer
And erase all its glass shards from my face
But I don?t want to forget her.
She who moved like liquid light
Eyes that blazed and burned inwards.
  She burned into my memory.
Everything about her was soft, her hair
Her lips ,her hands, and even her speech lingered lightly in air.
I didn?t know her well, yet it seemed I had known her for sometime.
But summer was over quickly
And she, like the lilac season was gone too soon. 
Summer has gone, and I promise myself that 
I will not forget her 
Or the flowers of the season


Humming bird

Its fluttering wings beat against the window
Frantically it tried to come into my room
Not seeing the barrier from its world to mine
Not knowing the flowers within are not as sweet as 
Those that grow freely on the outer wall.
I watch his struggle
His fleeting strength
His futile efforts ?
       Then the fluttering stops
All that is left is a crimson mark
Efforts failed
Wants met by death
When all he craved could have been so easily reached
By the growths on the outer wall.
UNTITLED
I walked up along the street
And the caf� doors were locked
The day was over run with clouds 
And the cars passed and it seemed
I was alone
But I walked streets down
I walked through familiar doors
Found myself at the bottom of a paper cup.
I thought about things
I thought about you
I thought about your clouds
That so resembled the ones assembled
Outside the caf� walls
I thought about your words
The promises
I thought about how I have acted
So many compromises
And realized the bottom of the cup was closer
Then I had imagined
I wasn?t being real
I wasn?t looking at the facts
The fact was
You are there
You are real
You are mine
                I am yours
Futures very uncertain
 But you would be there
And for once it didn?t frighten me that,
The bottom of the cup was merely inches away.
BLUE
It was a night like all the others
The days labors over
I headed down town to feed my addiction
Knowing full well he was not there.
The night smelled of sea salt and the leather from my jacket
And the sweet smell of perfume from the lady who passed me on the corner
As I walked to the place I would find my vice.
But unlike other days I got decaf
Watching out the window
Knowing he wouldn?t be passing
Down town is not his bag.
He is one for closed doors
Wooden floors 
 and rooms of solid blue.
ORB
It was a clear night
 We drove home with the light of the moon 
Casting azure shadows on the highway that stretched on before us for miles
And soon 
A wave of clouds covered the silver orb
Causing a midnight tide over the clear black expanse
And in this silent sea,
The stars gleamed
And his breath was steady
Keeping time as the wheels turned beneath us
And the moon followed in eager waiting
    And in this quiet of dreamtime
His eyes followed me to sleep
 Sifting through deep waters of thought
Burning through the underbrush of stirrings,
Causing haunting visions of his gazing that waked whispers of calm.
And slowly through sleep came tone,
The deep bells of his voice rang through
Pulling me through sleeps murky depths,
The pressure of sleep
Dreaming waves crashed over me as I broke through the choppy surface.
I gathered myself and prepared to leave,
He kissed me goodbye,
And as I looked up 
The tide had calmed and the moon again rang clear in the expanse of space. 
WINE
I see things in the hours of sleep that I wish to transpose
Beautiful things not almost meant for words
The sleekness of a white hip to thigh in contrast to the color of amber
and rust 
Seeing the world through zinfandel colored glass
And the scent of incense to fill and paint the last detail to the scene.
Persian rugs
Through beaded door frames
Precious blood-like wine
And lovers immortalized in paint
With skin tones clashing
Around brilliant burning gold?s
Fading to whispering hushes and hues of green
Loving as summer leaves fade
Dry and turn to dust
And scatter 
CITY
We walked together
I showed you my world
What it was like to see the
Chaos
Silent agony made of cement
You saw the hectic
You saw some peace
The city
A masterpiece of mixed media
Artists polluted nightmare
Of smog and jazz and coffee colored stains
On sidewalks.
You longed to leave the hectic
And go to where walls are white
And noise and darkness do not mingle
Where darkness is only touched with the scent of candles.
I prey you to believe that was not I
That was not my place
Not were I belong
I belong in your scented shadows
I want you in my silences laced with soft breath
Away from the blundering
Away from the blinking neon signs
Into soft words spoken into an air undisturbed
By passing cars,
Hamlets contemplated suicide,
Away from every aspect of a waking world outside the window
Just to have you
Alone
No world
No noise
No lights
Just you
CHARCOAL
A classic case of beauty,
Lovers illuminated in charcoal
Peeling themselves from canvases
And leaving the marks upon the sheets.
	She knows what she is
	Coal on silk coal on satin
	Soot-like remains remain on her lips ,an ashen kiss.
sHe is her art
   sHe is her lover
       Never occupying the same plane
Yet all encompassed in one.
           No threads involved
Nothing binding but the muslin cover
Stained with artists cinder and sweet smelling sweat.
And after all is done, she will go back from whence she came
From imagination
      From the carbon

Elusive and transparent
The night slips beyond my grasp
I beg dearly to hold to sleep
In fear of losing her in the morning traffic
I wake and know her ghost is inside me
Breathing and stirring like a living being.
 
Invisible hands seem to trace the soft outline
Of where her lips have been.
Taking the senses and inverting them
I seem to go on tasting the night after it has said its good-byes
 And listening to the softness of her skin.
 
A silent rustle on a silent plane
And seeing my heart rate increase.
With her I?m sitting and afraid of falling
With her I?m on fire and shivering in flames
Muddle a clear line
And I?m uncertain of nothing but the sure.
She is paradox
A clear sight in the dark
Nothing certain
Clouds soon will roll in off the shore
Bringing in variables unseen.
Cause and effect will be in play 
And I fear
I will lose her to the horizon
Brilliant
 
And from me she will fade into a violate light
A leaden luster on the line.
Vertigo will set in
 
And like a sinner
I will fall from grace
And her ghost will pass from me
A apparition departing from between my lips
And she will be gone
The night will slip beyond my grasp
I will beg dearly to wake from sleep
I lost her in the morning traffic
I wake and know her ghost is gone
oh shit
   I rolled over at a quarter to 10...
 it was still way too early
The room is gray and so is the day beyond the shutters,
 Not a day for company,
 But rather a day for moping about in pajamas with holes. ..
I put my feet on the hard wooden floor
 and found it as cold as my mood.
 I could hear the rain steadily pounding out
 its ceaseless rhythm on the roof outside the panes?
 It was too damn steady for my taste. 
Today was not a day for color?.
But rather for the dull tones of gray
 that seem to encompass my world.
 
I walked over to the radio,
 Flipped the switch 
and found miles Davis playing exactly what I needed,
 something lonely, 
But without regret.
 
I slipped on my gray sweats
 And grudgingly left the sanctuary of my tomb like room.
 
No one was home
It was Sunday?
Everyone leaves on Sunday?
 	The whole house was consumed by the gray 
. The wood floors groaned in protest to my weight,
 As if they knew?.
 
Sometimes I wondered if they did.
 
Did they know the weight of worry?
Or do they just know the agony and weight of the gray light
That sloshes out of the window and on to the planks?.
God I hated Sundays
 	I poured a cup of coffee,
 And walked over the window to see what it was really like?
Just as I thought?
Wet
 And black?
Not regular black?
But wet satin black.
 The color of his hair after the shower,
Slicked back, 
Beautiful?.
I bit back a silent curse and continued on to the living room
 
Which seemed vacant and undisturbed.
 
It was like I was the first to be there in many years,
 A rediscovery of collected dust on yellowed photographs?.
I found a chair and plopped down in it
Closed my eyes and listened?.
 The raining hiss as a car passes?.
The cat jumping up to the window sill
Staring at me with his two blue intensities?
Ice against the gray?

NIGHT                           
night crouched around me
and took me as his bride,
stripped away the fear and saddness,
and laid down at my side.
he wrapped me in his soft summer darkness
and with the cool breeze proclaimed his love
and he looked at me with his eyes of stars,
that glittered from above.
The smell of the summer night,
the lilacs and the apple blossom covered tree,
filled and dominated every sense,
and beauty the night made me be.
the cool sheets billowed around
and the night filled my being.
let me feel that rush of wind
that left me blind and yet all seeing.
the night to me made love
every sweetness of the darkness now known
every mystery of the evening laid before me
across the pillows strewn.
he wants me for his sable world,
for the night a day,
so he may sleep and gather rest
and from his own darkness slip away.
so I opened my pale arms,
and in flows the night,
covered there in black laced shadows
that cast me in a luminesant light.
I love him for what he is,
beauty, mystery , and a time for lovers to meet.
where lovers cling as do we
lost in the darkness sweet

WE RETURN
We always return to the familiar,
The same arms that held us long ago
Hold some comfort we are not able to find elsewhere.
By being placed in those arms, it takes us back to what we were
And the happiness we felt then, but now cant seem to find.
I have come to the conclusion that this is a falsity
There is nothing there
Only memories to dwell on.
A time of peace
Love
Safety
No mistakes
For we know.
We remember
We always return to the familiar
When there are no other options, we run to what we know will except us
Will encase us in that sentimentality, that false feeling
We know that they remember as well, therefore,
We feel that it is right.
Is it?
Can it be?
We always return to the familiar,
For one reason or another,
So we lose and fool ourselves?
And we say?.
Those same false words
That make us feel?
For we remember the familiar.

WELCOME
I welcome you to the coolness of my sable world
Come here,
And in the folds of night I shall wrap you
And hide you from the blinding light of reality,
Where pain and deaths are,
But here death is life,
And From death we are reborn into this beauty of jet in which
You are enfolded.
   In this world, we are blind, but there is nothing
You can?t learn or see by the senses of taste or touch.
I can?t see you now, but I feel the heat rise off 
Of your skin, painting your dark silhouette
on the canvas of my mind.
 And I can taste the salt of your sweat
Against my lips, filling in your presence there.
Come and lie here in my lap, 
And gaze with knowledge of
Of the night.
And be what we are. 
Fall into my eyes chylde.
Two pools of warm desire
And in their soft darkness I shall bath you,
Cleanse you of your prier fear .
But do not drown at their whim, but rather
Let yourself sink and die there at your will.
Rise up out of the dark waters, 
And know then my desire
Take me then, shivering in heat,
Freezing in flames, and learn the games
That the children here play, 
And be what we are
Children of the night.

LOVE?
There are no words to really say what this day was
Or rather what this night shall be.
I have taken a look at my brief life,
And found there is no one here but me.
 I have taken my time looking for love,
And being so young I fall,
In and out of love so quick 
It is hard to say if I?ve loved at all.
 
There was a love I ?d loved for years
And finally when love came,
It passed so quick I could scarcely breath,
And when it was gone I felt the same.
Then there was the other,
Who I barley knew,
I fell in way over my head,
I never saw him,
But day by day my love grew,
And it blossomed into a beautiful thing
Gracefully light like a gossamer wing
But miles separated my love and I
And now day by day I feel it die
What?s to become of this gentle love?
Beautiful man with poets tongue,
And eyes that see right through
The dark mahogany of his eyes
See right through mine of blue.
Was this love meant to be? 
Or will I again suffer here?
Left to languish alone in love
And shed a loved and vain spent tear?
I have taken my time looking for love,
And being so young I fall,
In and out of love so quick 
It is hard to say if I?ve loved at all.

I WANT
I need,
like any woman does,
I need the feel of you in my arms
I need the taste of your lips on mine..
I want
like any woman does
I want to be held in your sight
I want your heat in the cool of the night
I love
like any wonam does
I love you
I love what you are
I love how you make me feel.

BEACH
the sky was grey 
and the clouds hung in the air,
grey imatations of the waves that crashed
and broke here at my feet.
the wind whipped wildley around me
swirling my hair about my face, I closed my eyes and took a
breath, the wind grew tremendious..and then I heard it
.....cool and clear as the wind that brought it there....
my name....
I looked across the water which was growing greyer
and there in the distance images came
your eyes.............
...then again my name
my thin cotton shirt clung to me as 
the rain began to fall in a desperate pattern
against the rocks where I sat
I ran not for shelter.....
.....but let the rain consume me
saturate me .......
its warm wet seeping into my cloths , and
my hair.....
I opened my mouth and tasted it upon my tounge
and i smiled.........in the midst of this small down pour
the sun filtered through the clouds making this
growing storm a sun shower of warmth and mist
.........the rain died slowly.......
and i was left laying there on the exposed rock
.......soaked....my cloths clung to my body warm and wet
..........and the water calmed...the crashing waves now a pleasant brush
i opened my eyes sat up...and looked around........
nothing was there.....just me and my empty shore line
......and my name upon the breeze.

WHY SHOULD IT BE YOU
I could say that love has been kind
but lies do not become me.
I could say I have really tried for love
but like I said it doesn?t match
I have wasted little time becoming what am now
hollow
empty
and not spent time enough doing what really matters
like opening the locked fortress I call my heart
but how to open what has been corroded shut
by pain and misfortune is still a mystery to me
I have hurt many who come along hoping and dreaming 
thinking, that I could be the one, but like a serpent I lured
them in
and told them what they wanted to hear, and then slammed
loves door
in their faces. and turned them to the harsh reality of what I
am
cold 
empty
they will find no sanctuary in my arms
for my arms are like the prison they fear
cold 
and desolately bare
not one has succeeded in tearing down these prison walls
letting light shine through, so why should it be any different
if I gave the chance to you?
    

Back to my Spiffy Page